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useful books on


...software engineering,

...sales & marketing,

...thinking & problem solving,

...other important stuff.


The following are books/articles that I have found useful over the years -- it's a rather eclectic list. I hope you find them useful, too. Note that some of these books are out of print and may be difficult to locate; in some cases, the actual Amazon.com reference is to a later printing of the book that I originally read.

If you are moved to buy any of the books listed, you can simply click on the title link which will take you directly to Amazon.com where you can order directly. I'll make a dollar or two which will go directly into my vast retirement fund.

Management These books deal with the art and science of leadership and management - a critical part, I believe, of IT and software development success.

Software Engineering These are books and articles about the management and methodology that goes into successful software development, although there are a few 'technical' books and references here.

Sales & Marketing The old "If you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door" doesn't work any more; you have to get out there and tell the world about your product before someone beats you to the punch. These books will help.

Thinking & Problem Solving We often forget that much of our job revolves around identifying and solving problems. It's easy to believe that problem solving is something we just 'figure out' over time. But these books will show you ways to think about your thinking and improve your problem solving capacity.

Other Important Stuff Each one of us has books that are personally seminal in some fashion - they usually can't be slotted into any specific category - these are mine.


Leadership Is an Art
DePree, Max, "Leadership is an Art", Dell Publishing, 1989

"We do not grow by knowing all the answers, but rather by living with the questions." If that piques your interest, then this book is for you. It's really a collection of connected essays (you can read any chapter pretty much stand-alone) on various topics of leadership. As DePree says, the art of leadership is about "liberating people to do what is required of them in the most effective and humane way." DePree's company, Herman-Miller (founded by his father in 1923) pioneered many of the management approaches that we take for granted today. Employee ownership (think ISO, ESOP and the like) were part of Herman-Miller's ethos long before it came to public attention. This book will cause you to think. Don't forget to visit their website at www.hermanmiller.com - check out "JuggleZine" for an interesting and thought-provoking article about juggling work and life. "Remember: we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."

Key Management Questions...
Lambert, Tom, "Key Management Questions: Smart Questions for Every Business Situation", FT Prentice Hall, 2003

Speaking of questions, this book has them all (well, almost all). There are questions on planning, on collaboration and working with people, on leadership... on almost anything that a business owner / manager needs to ask to make sure that they are getting the best out of their organization and themselves. Open it up to any page, read the questions, and ask yourself: you're sure to learn something.

The Tao of Leadership...
Heider, John, "The Tao of Leadership: Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching Adapter for a New Age", Humanics New Age, 1985

"Enlightened leadership is service, not selfishness. The leader grows more and lasts longer by placing the well-being of all above the well-being of self alone." Books on the Tao are a popular source of inspiration in a number of areas, and there have been a number of interesting books on the topic (including, for example, "The Leader Who is Hardly Known" by Steven Simpson). The 81 chapters of the book mirror the presentation of the original Tao Te Ching and offer a version that is skillfully adapted for use by leaders in our current time. Of course, it was intended as sage advice for the political rulers of the time (5th Century, B.C.), and it's focus is therefore on leading a large, diverse country. However, the ideas apply to today's business leaders with companies of any size: the ideas are timeless and this book does an excellent job of distilling the 2500-year old classic into a form that is readily accessible by todays' readers.

How Small Businesses Capture Talent...
Brun, Ray, "How Small Business Capture Talent: 164 Strategies for Recruiting and Hiring Winners", Outskirts Press, 2008

If you're a small business (or even a bigger business), your key to success is hiring the right people! Written by Ray Brun, a client of mine, this book gives it to you straight. My own small business clients all have a copy, and Chip Doyle, a highly-regarded consultant and another close associate of mine had this to say [on Amazon.com] about the book: "This useful guide is packed with creative tips and novel strategies for recruiting the best candidates. Pages 7 and 8 (which cover the 4 critical steps to avoid hiring mistakes by getting clarity on what you really need) are worth the price of the entire book, but don't stop reading there. Brun doesn't mince words or give flowery explanations - he gets right to the point. (Something any busy executive will appreciate) He also supports every strategy with concise real world examples." Highly recommended!

What Clients Love...
Beckwith, Harry, "What Clients Love: A Field Guide to Growing Your Business",

"Ask - and keep asking yourself - what would people love?" As Beckwith points out, nobody was asking for a business like Federal Express: Fred Smith thought about how to offer customers a service that he thought was needed and turned the idea into reality. Beckwith also spends some time on the topic of planning, including offering 14 planning principles (such as "View Experts Skeptically") and points out that "...the value of planning is not in the plan but in the planning." Planning helps you learn about your business and the is valuable stuff. An easy, thought-provoking read.

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die
Heath & Heath, "Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die", Random House, 2007

"A compelling strategy has focus, divergence, and a compelling tagline." An easy read, with fascinating stories about how ideas "stuck". Pair this book with Cialdini's "Influence: Science & Practice" and you'll be well on your way to understanding how to craft a compelling message.

Influence: Science and Practice (5th Edition)
Cialdini, Robert, "Influence: Science and Practice", Prentice Hall, 2008 (5th Edition)

"...we accept inner responsibility for a behavior when we think we have chosen to perform it in the absence of strong outside pressure." Dr. Cialdini has for many years researched how we are influenced and provides us with numerous insights into what can be done to influence how we make our decisions. Marketers do it all the time, so it behooves us to learn their techniques so that we can avoid being influenced. And, as Cialdini points out, there are ethical ways to present your message so that it has the greatest chance of reaching your audience. A great read!

Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost...
Lundin, Paul, & Christensen, "Fish: A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results", Random House, 2007

"Choose, Play, Be Present, Make Their Day" So ssay the authors of this book to their employees; and it pays off with not only improved employee morale but also improved customer satisfaction. A business fable that you can read in one sitting, it's an engaging look into how we can improve the workplace for employees and improve our bottom line results at the same time. "Enlightened self-interest!" E.E. Doc Smith would say.

Be the Elephant: Build a Bigger, Better Business
Kaplan, Steve; "Be the Elephant: Build a Bigger, Better Business", Workman Publishing Company, 2007

"Without numbers, business is just expensive gambling with your own and other people's money." I've had clients who asked me why they should bother to look at their financials on a regular basis. When they finally did, they learned they they were losing money on what they thought was their most profitable line of business and making money on work that they kept trying to turn away!

This book is a good introduction to someone just starting a business with no business background: he hits all the basics. Even if you've run your business for a while, there are still probably some gems in here for you.

The Wisdom of Crowds
Surowiecki, James, "The Wisdom of Crowds", Anchor Publishing, 2005

"Fostering diversity is actually more important in small groups [than in] larger collectives." Sometimes, the crowd is smarter than the smartest individual, and you can use this to your advantage -- particularly with nearly ubiquitous access to the internet. However, you need 1) diversity, 2) independence, 3) decentralization, and 4) a good way to aggregate the results. Enjoyable and thought-provoking reading.

Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make Competition Irrelevant
Kim & Mauborgne, "Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create...", Harvard Business Press, 2005

"What separates winners from losers... is neither bleeding edge technology nor 'timing for market entry'." It is Value Innovation and that happens when companies align innovation with utility, price, and cost positions. At it's core, this means finding the right combination of these elements so that customers get a unique experience at the right price-ponit, leaving room for profits. This means creating "new best-practice rules". Witness Cirque de Soleil versus Ringling Brothers, a major case study in this book. Makes you stop and think about your product/service offering!

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
Gladwell, James, "Blink", Bak Bay Books, 2007

"Thin-slice" your way to success. Or so Gladwell would have us believe. Intuition or gut-feeling is certainly a useful tool, and we all have experiences of getting a quick-read on a situation without formal analysis. As always with Gladwell's books, Blink is an interesting read and he starts out with good supporting examples for his thesis. However, by the end of the book, I'm left wondering exactly where he's going or what his point really is. Enjoyable, but a tad disappointing.

The Undercover Economist: Exposing Why the Rich Are Rich, the Poor Are Poor--and Why You Can Never Buy a Decent Used Car!
Hartford, Tim; "The Undercover Economist", Oxford University Press, 2005

"[Initiatives can] end in failure because... the human properties of the system have not been addressed at all". Although Hartford talks largely about economic issues, he has true understanding that things don't operate in isolation: they're always part of a larger system. This is good reading for business people: understanding the human properties of a system are often the most important and least understood aspects.

Leading at the Edge of Chaos: How to Create the Nimble Organization
Conner, Daryl; "Leading at the Edge of Chaos" Wiley & Sons, 1998

"Leaders... are: pre-disposed towards opportunities both inside and outside the organization (positive); remain attentive to the more critical objectives (focused); display pliability in the variety of information they consider when making decisions... (flexible); able to structure the ways they interpret data and information (organized); and build implementation plans around their new ideas eagerly (proactice)." [emphasis mine]. This is an excellent description of what leaders need to do/become if they are to be successful... and Conner also adds in the human element that must always be considered to be a successful leader.

Human Element: A Course in Resourceful Thinking
Cleary, Thoman; "The Human Element...", Shambhala, 1996

"Confucius said: If you punish people without having admonished them, this is cruel. If you test them without having instructed them, this is brutal. If you are lax in direction yet make deadlines, this is vicious. If you are stingy in givin what is due to others, this is being bureaucratic." This and other admonitions by Confucius are as valid today as when he wrote them almost 2500 years ago. Cleary has collected ancient wisdom from numerous authors and shows how they are still valid today. If you ignore history, you are doomed to repeat the failures of history. Avoid some of those failures by reading this book.

Reflections for Managers
Hyland & Yost; "Reflections for Managers", McGraw-Hill, 1995

"Listen for what is not being said and who is not saying it. It is possibly your most valuable piece of information." Each chapter is short (usually 2 pags) with an adage such as the previous, discussion about the meaning, and examples. The book really focuses on the human principles that are necessary to have long-term success in business. A valuable book for new and experienced managers alike.

Medici Effect: What Elephants and Epidemics Can Teach Us About Innovation
Johansson, Frans; "The Medici Effect", Harvard Business Press, 2006

"What in the world do elephants and epidemics have to do with each other?" Italy's renaissance family the Medici's, combined disparate talent from around the world, leading to tremendous innovation. At it's core, this is about diversity of thinking, and some of his mamxims like 'Randomly Combine Concepts' and 'Ignite an Explosion of Ideas' are focused on helping diversity shine. Very enjoyable and thought-provoking.

Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done
Bossidy, Charan, & Burck; "Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done", Crown Business, 2002

"You can have the greatest strategy in the world, but without execution you are going nowhere! Based on their experience at General Electric, the authors posit 3 core business processes: people, strategy, and operations. All 3 processes have to be linked to be successful. They present numerous examples of successful and failed execution, and the book is easy reading. I was more impressed with the first half and felt that the second half of the book was less clear. Still, a valuable source of informationn that can be transferred from big business to small business.


An Introduction to General Systems Thinking
Weinberg, Gerald M., "An Introduction to General Systems Thinking", John Wiley & Sons, 1975

I read this book years ago and it got me started on Weinberg books. If you haven't read one yet, run don't walk to your nearest bookstore and buy one. (or order it online) It'll change your way of thinking about software engineering, about software engineering management, and about thinking itself. As in all his work, Weinberg gets you to approach situations differently (in one sense, this is a book about thinking, so maybe it should be in another section… but that's the way his books frequently are and therein lies the beauty). In the first chapter, he discusses the laws of small numbers, medium numbers, and large numbers. As Weinberg states, "For medium number systems, we can expect that large fluctuations, irregularities, and discrepancy with any theory will occur more of less regularly." In other words, Murphy's Law - "Anything that can happen, will happen." Since most systems we deal with tend to be medium number systems, this helps explain why we have such difficulties… and helps us approach the situation with a little more humility. His application of the ideas to many different endeavors is a real pleasure. One of his Questions for Further Research states that "…many poets are renowned for their celebration of wholeness and complexity" and suggests that you "Choose a particular poet and several representative works to discuss in the light of the Law of Medium Numbers." Just don't be fooled by this example - there's real meat to this book that will help you approach engineering (and other) situations from a different perspective.


Mastering the Art of Selling Real Estate...
Hopkins, Tom, "Mastering the Art of Selling Real Estate: Fully Revised and Updated", Portfolio Hardcover, 2004

Don't be fooled by the title! Even if you're not in real estate, this book will help you learn how to canvass for sales. This book was referred to me by a client with a strong background in sales & marketing

Roar! Get Heard in the Sales and Marketing Jungle
Daum, Kevin & Turner, Danial, "ROAR! Get Heard in the Sales and Marketing Jungle", Grady Parsons, 2010

I got an advanced copy and read this book from cover to cover in one sitting. The first section covers defining and using a Value Proposition and is the best such description I've seen in a long time. Highly recommended.

The Sandler Rules...
Mattson, David, "The Sandler Rules: 49 Timeless Selling Principles and How to Apply them", Pegasus Media World, 2009

"Rule #1: You have to learn to fail, to win." Failure is a part of life: everyone experiences at some time in their life... and like most people, probably more than once. If babies gave up after falling down a few times, we'd never learn to walk. But they don't. From the failure they learn what works and what doesn't and pretty soon they're toddling around all over the place. These 49 "rules" are simple, straight-foward... and effective. Using them in your sales process -- whether or not you are a Sandler system devotee -- will surely improve your sales results.

Making the Number...
Alexander, Greg et al, "Making the Number: How to use Sales Benchmarking to Drive Performance", Portfolio, 2008

"The number of sales people who miss their numbers every year approaches 40 percent." Pretty scary numbers! Although targeted at the larger organization, there are many useful nuggets in this book for even the smallest organization. For example, you can find (in Chapter 10) a list of strategic sales metrics that you can pick and choose from; in Chapter 16 they give you information about how to measure and compare results, with a brief introduction to the statistics involved. Good stuff if you're in charge of Sales and want to improve.

How to Become a Rainmaker: The Rules For Getting and Keeping Customers and Clients
Fox, Jeffrey; "How to Become a Rainmaker", Hyperion, 2000

"Make your product the way the customers want it." He has lots more rules like this that are short, simple, and hard-hitting. You can read this book in one sitting -- and you probably ought to read it more than once to get the real benefit. Check out the complete Rainmaker's credo and you'll start being more successful!


The Thinker's Toolkit; Fourteen Skills...
Jones, Morgan D., "The Thinker's Toolkit: Fourteen Skills for Making Smarter Decisions in Business and in Life", Random House, 1995. [0-8129-2601-3 (cloth)

We all think we know how to think...and to a certain extent, that's true. However, Jones' book will help you think more clearly and effectively. He has a straight-forward writing style that makes his material easy to follow. You might believe that you already know the analytical methods that he presents -- and some of them will be familiar: problem restatement PROs-CONs-FIXes, and weighted ranking are ones you've probably heard of. Causal flow diagramming, matrix analysis, hypothesis testing, and utility analysis are most likely less familiar to you, but can come in useful under certain situations. Each analytical method has extensive examples that amply demonstrate their use and usefulness.

The Visual Display of Quantitative Information
Tufte, Edward R., "The Visual Display of Quantitative Information", Graphics Press, 1983. [0-9613921-0-X (cloth)

Envisioning Information
Tufte, Edward R., "Envisioning Information", Graphics Press, 1990. [0-9613921-1-8 (cloth)

Visual Explanations: Images & Quantities...
Tufte, Edward R., "Visual Explanations", Graphics Press, 1997. [0-9613921-2-6 (cloth)

Communicating -- whether as a presentation or a report -- is a way of life in today's business world. Making sure you are understood is critically important. Whether you're a product manager, a developer, or even a graphics artist, these books will astound you and delight you ...and in the process they'll make you a better communicator. All in all, these books are a tour de force and deserve careful study. If you have the chance to attend one of Tufte's all-day seminars run...don't walk...to the registration line! 'Visual Display' provides an introduction to the topic, along with concrete examples of how to present information graphically and effectively. You may have already seen the classic chart of Napoleon's 1812 campaign against Russia -- this book is where it was first presented. 'Envisioning Information' is a visually delightful presentation of universal design principles for presenting 3D information on the 2D page. As in all of Tufte's books, this one contains numerous examples of historical graphical charts, maps, and art. 'Visual Explanations' discusses how to present evidence so that the implications are clearly understood. Tufte reviews the Challenger Space Shuttle accident. His startling conclusion: had the information that was available been presented clearly, the launch would probably have been scrubbed and the accident would never have occurred.

Creative Whack Pack
von Oech, Roger, "Creative Whack Pack", US Games Systems, 1992 [0-88079-358-9]

Are you stuck on a problem and can't get started thinking your way through it? Then the "Whack Pack" (as in "whack on the side of the head") might be for you. It's a deck of 64 cards, divided into 4 groups of sixteen cards each. The groups are: Explorer -- discovering resources; Artist -- generating ideas; Judge -- decision-making; Warrier -- implementing. Each card has a short description about the technique embodied in the card, and finishes with a question that you should answer for your project. This deck is a quick, simple, and surprisingly effective way to kick you out of a rut and create solutions.

Are Your Lights On? : How to Figure Out...
Gause, Donald C. & Weinberg, Gerald, "Are Your Lights On? How to figure out what the problem really is.", Winthrop Publishers, 1982. [0-87626-048-2 (case)]

This is one of those short, sweet, and to the point books that makes you stop and think. It has well-written, illuminating stories that are used throughout to illustrate the concepts that are being discussed. Questions and thought-provoking statements are liberally sprinkled throughout the text, keeping you awake and interested. It's an easy read, but a challenging 'think'. The title of the book comes from a story about a long tunnel, a requirement that motorists turn on their lights before entering, many dead batteries caused by motorists leaving their lights on, and the precisely worded solution to the problem. This is an enjoyable book that you could read in one sitting.

Who Moved My Cheese? : An Amazing Way to...
Johnson, Spender, "Who Moved My Cheese?", Penguin Putnam, Inc., 1998 [0-399-14446-3]

This little volume (it's only 94 small pages long) is one of the "One-Minute Manager" series and can be read in less than an hour. It focuses on how to deal with change in your life. Through a parable of mice, little people, and cheese in a maze, Johnson leads you through an exploration of change and how to deal with it effectively.

Use Both Sides of Your Brain
Buzan, Tony, "Use Both Sides of Your Brain", E.P. Dutton, 1974 [0-525-457436-6]

Tony Buzan is one of the first people to talk about "brain patterns" -- mind maps they are sometimes called. If you haven't heard about them, that alone is worth reading this book for: they're a method of capturing your thoughts about a subject and organizing them in meaningful ways. [NOTE: There are now some good tools available for creating mind maps -- see Mind Manager for one example]. Buzan also covers seemingly more mundane issues, such as how to read more effectively and improving your memory. I continue to use some of the techniques that I learned from this book.

How Numbers Lie : A Consumer's Guide to...
Runyon, Richard P., "How Numbers Lie: A Consumer's Guide to the Fine Art of NUMERICAL DECEPTION", Lewis Publishing Co., 1981 [0-86616-001-9 (paper)]

Did you ever wonder how true some of those TV claims might really be? Would you like to know how to see through some of the tricks that advertisers pull on you.... or mistakes that might be made in business presentations? Then this is a book for you. While treating the classical statistical theme of gambling, Runyon does a great job of pointing out many of the fallacies that we are faced with every day. For example, you're shown a downward-trending graph, an intervention is described, and then you see an upward-trending graph that seems to show unequivocally that the intervention was wildly successful. Sound too good to be true? If there are no labels on the axes of the graph, then it probably is too good to be true (this is an example of what Runyon calls the validating pseudograph). He goes on in this section of the book to discuss the rubber-band-boundary chart, which distorts the message by freely expanding or contracting the axes of the chart. The ideas are simple, but once you are aware of them, you can cast a more critical eye on materials that are presented to you.

How to Lie with Statistics
Huff, Darrell & Geis, Irving, "How to Lie with Statistics", W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 1954 [0-393-310728 (paper)]

Disraeli once said, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." This small book -- even though published 50 years ago -- is a wonderfully clear and straightforward introduction to a very important topic. Although the examples given are dated ("The average Yaleman, class of '24, makes [an impressive] $25,111 a year," for example), the meaning is the same. You can easily be tricked by the improper use of statistics, and you have the responsibility to ask yourself the key question: "What have they left out of this statement." In the preceeding quote about Yalemen, Huff points out first that the number is "surprisingly precise" and cautions that we should be skeptical of overly precise numbers: the precision may be there just to make it look impressive. He then comments on the sampling process: how Yalemen from the class of '24 are surveyed, and points out that the lower income Yalemen (whowever they may be) probably haven't been included since they are probably not as easy to find as the Yalemen who are important, prestigious, and -- therefore -- probably earning more money. Once you have read this book, you will have a list of basic questions to ask yourself about any statistical statement, such as:
  • What is the sample and is there any bias in the sampling process that may affect the outcome?
  • What is meant by the word 'average'? There are actually three values that can be used: the mean, the median, or the mode. Each one can be different -- quite different in some cases.
  • What data is missing from the statement? If the sample size is only 5 people (4 out of 5 doctors recommend Frutilicious Toothpaste), then the statement is not statistically valid. Maybe the company had to toss out 40 other doctors to create the results they wanted.
  • Is this difference really significant? If one product is preferred 45% of the time and another 40% of the time, is that enough of a difference to focus all our attention on the first product? No, because sampling error could actually reverse the findings. We should ask for a range of percentages to be accurate.
  • What does a line graph really mean? You can't know until you see the values on the graph axes. First, does the axis start with zero? If not, then you can't see the whole picture. Second, what is the scale of the axis (i.e., how far apart or close together are the points on the axis? By judicious selection of the scale, the same data can be shown to be "stable" or "greatly changing".
  • Are objects rather than bars used for charts? If objects are used, they are frequently increased in size along two dimensions (rather than one when simple bars are used), making something twice as tall appear 4 times as big... thus implying something that is not in the data.
  • Does the statement made have any relevance to the issue (called the "semi-attached figure")? Just because "27% of doctors smoke Throaties cigarettes" doesn't mean that this brand is any better than any other: doctors are not tobacco specialists any more than are network engineers.
  • Is causation improperly implied? Post hoc, ergo propter hoc: If B follows A, then B must be caused by A is seductive, but often wrong. Just because a study shows that occurrences of B are linked to occurrences of A doesn't mean that A causes B (or vice versa). There could be some other causal factor which influences both A and B, or it could be chance.

There are other examples given. Buy the book and enjoy!

Complete Problem Solver
Hayes, John R., "The Complete Problem Solver", Franklin Institute Press, 1981 [0-89168-028-4]

Hayes was a professor in the Department of Psychology at Carnegie-Mellon and so, as you might expect, this is a more formal treatise than some of the others reviewed here. The coverage is broad (Problem Solving Theory & Practice; Memory and Knowledge Acquisition; Decision Making; and Creativity and Invention) but relatively thorough, as it was used to teach classes on problem solving. Because of his university background, Hayes presents a taxonomy of challenges involved in problem solving and then uses that taxonomy to organize the book by concentrating on each in turn.

It's a useful approach, although I wish he had presented them in the order that they occur in the 'normal' problem-solving process. The book does have some mathematics -- particularly in the sections on decision-making, chance, and cost-benefit analysis, but it's at a moderate level so shouldn't present too much difficulty. There's a definite overlap between this book and both Buzan's book and Jones' book, but there's unique stuff here as well. Not an particularly easy read; this is one you'll have to work at.

The Logic of Failure : Why Things go Wrong
Dorner, Dietrich, "The Logic of Failure: why things go wrong and what we can do to make them right", Metropolitan Books, 1989


50 Rules to Keep a Client Happy
Poppe, Fred, "50 Rules to Keep a Client Happy", Harper & Rowe, 1987

This is a small book - each 'rule' occupies one page, occasionally two. No fluff here - just solid, easy-to-read comments about the client 'relationship' that make sense. And you don't have to be a consultant or an advertising agency to benefit from Poppe's rules - think 'customer' and almost any business can benefit from these ideas. For example: "Keep Clients Informed - About Themselves and About Their Competitors". Make it a point to learn about what's important to the client and then let them know about it. I've been doing this for years with my occasional "FYI" mailings to clients - if there's an article that would be of interest, I send it to them with a short note. It may help the client, and it keeps me in touch with them. A few of Poppe's rules are a little dated. In "Imbibing - (Over and Under)" he properly points out the dangers of drinking too much in business situations. However, the social climate has changed sufficiently that today it's OK to decline a drink even if the other person is indulging. Still, this is a good read.


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